to play or not to play
by AmarisHarrow
Summary: Basically I edited my old story 'When Zach Came Back' and added a few more chapters. Zach comes back to the Gallagher Academy and Cammie thinks he is playing a new game. One with her heart. By trying to beat him, could she be pushing him away for good?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One **

The Blackthorne Boys are here. Obviously, I have to pretend that I don't care. But that is proving so much easier said than done... Zachary is here again. I honestly wish I had Bex's bad-girl confidence, she could be so damn hot when she wanted to be. And Zach, the gorgeous Zach. What am I going to do? He's getting in my head, but seriously in my head. Like, 'Hey Cammie I'm moving in here for life, deal with it.' It started last week, when they arrived.

Everyone at the Gallagher Academy had basically accepted that the Blackthorne Boys were just not coming back. After last years escapades, we didn't expect to see them until we were outside the safe confines of our grounds and out in the real world. Or as 'real' as the world gets for a spy anyway. But we Gallagher Girls aren't ones to miss people. Our lives are too temperamental for that. Instead of moping around like Liz had taken to doing (clearly she had liked Jonas a lot more than she had let on), I threw myself into physical training, and when I say threw, I mean it literally. Dr. Fibs had developed a portable human cannonball for fast evasive action if we are ever stuck out in the field. It is also extremely helpful for getting to various places faster.

So, whenever I could, I'd press the eject button and fly out to the running track around the perimeter of the school. Running was like my own personal diary. Every step I took was a word, only it couldn't be read by prying eyes. I could let go when I was running, and feel the wind trying to push me back, but knowing that I was stronger was a total high. My feet would pound against the grass, and I'd feel my leg muscles straining, thrusting me forward with such power. There was a tree along my route, it was nothing special, but when I was there I knew that I was close to the end. After 8.90km I had the final 100m of bliss before it was back to being shut in, locked in the classroom learning how to write a correct formal letter or The Russian Revolution of 1905 in COW.

Don't get me wrong, spy training is what I live for, without it I'd be normal, and I don't know if I could deal with that. But right then, nothing seemed worth it, if I could die so easily doing what I loved. My dad had been playing on my mind recently. He still is, even with Zach around to distract me. It was his birthday last week, the day before the Boys arrived, actually. At least this year I could spend the day with mum, although neither of us mentioned it. We Morgan girls are too strong for tears. Its a waste of fluid! In all seriousness, you never know when you could get stranded in the desert.

Anyway, it was on one of those almighty runs that I sprinted into Mr. Goode. Unfortunately, it was practically 30 degrees outside, and I was more than a little sweaty when I collided chest first with him. Not the most attractive situation let me tell you. Nevertheless, living up to his reputation as a complete tease, he wrapped his arms around me and whispered

'Oh Gallagher Girl, you've gotten fit.' Now, its not often that I get scared, but my heart fluttered in that minute, from fear or something deeper, I don't know.

One of the things that infuriates me about Zach is that I don't know where I stand with him. And I cant very well just ask him can I? I do not want him to know that I've been thinking about him. One minute he'll be holding my hand and chattering away, and the next he's giving me the cold shoulder. I think I'm becoming clinically insane.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two - **

I was freezing. The heaters in the library had broken and my jumper was slung across my bed. I could see its exact position in my head, all warm and snuggly, just mocking me. So, as it was, I was freezing my arse off on a stiff backed chair wearing a hitched up skirt and faintly see through blouse. Suddenly, hands blocked my eyes. Anyone else probably would have just waited to see who it was, after all the code black hadn't gone off, meaning that we hadn't been infiltrated, but not me. I jerked back my chair and used my leg power to flip the 'eye blocker' onto the table. In a second I was on top of them, pinning their arms next to their head.

I was just congratulating myself on an expert execution of the Plinsky Manoeuvre, when the boy, for it was a boy, beneath me started to chuckle.

'Damn Gallagher Girl, when did you get so fast?' exclaimed Zach.

'You've been away for a while Zach, what did you expect me to be doing? Moping? Not for me I'm afraid,' I replied cuttingly. I couldn't let him know how much I wanted to smile when I saw him. Then I got an idea.

'Hmm, Zach, lets see what you've been up to these past few months..' and with that, I yanked up his shirt to get a little look at his now fully formed six-pack.

'Not bad,' I grinned, letting him up from underneath me.

'Why thank you,' he mocked, with a low bow. Next thing I knew he was grasping my hand and leading me out the door and into the little alcove behind the statue of Gilly in the corridor.

Needless to say it was pretty squashed in that little space, and I could feel Zach's chest pressed up against mine, his heart beating steadily. I closed my eyes. How was it possible that he could have this effect on me? I'd spent my life learning how to be indifferent in the hardest situations. It was how I had dealt with losing my dad. It scared me to my very core that one person could undo all of my training by just standing next to me. Maybe Zachary Goode wasn't that good for me after all.

'Did you miss me Cammie?' he whispered. I noted the absence of his usual 'Gallagher Girl' quip, which meant he was being serious for once.

'I'm a spy Zach, I don't miss people.' I watched as his face contorted slightly, a grimace of mock pain flashed across his face, and was gone just as quickly as it had appeared.

'I missed you...' he pleaded, but I wasn't going to fall for it. I knew that if I said anything like that he would rip me apart, and that would be too much. Two could play his game, and this time I was going to use his tactics to win.

'Yeah but Zach, you aren't a spy are you? Not really, Blackthorne Boy..' and with that I slunk out of the alcove and ran towards my dormitory. I made a mistake that night, I didn't check to see if Zach was following me, a fatal error for someone in my field of 'work'. Somehow I just knew that he wouldn't be. The thing was, I saw him in a reflection, crumpled against the statue with his head in his hands, and real pain etched across his face. I almost stopped. Almost, but not quite.


	3. Chapter 2 and a half

**Chapter Two point Five - **

Monday had arrived with a vengeance, and my first lesson was P&E. Much like their last visit, the boys were joining all of our lessons whilst they were here. Occasionally they participated fully, and the one lesson they hated to not be involved in was P&E. The guys in today's class, were Zach, Jonas, Grant (how they always managed to get in the same lessons I did not know) and a couple of other guys who I hadn't met.

The focus of the lesson was how to fight from a distance, otherwise known as using a rifle and bullets to do the dirty work for you. We hadn't quite moved on to snipers, so the rifles were Cadet GP's or A2s. My mood had been steadily deteriorating since breakfast, and I had been looking forward to punching the face off someone. As P&E is the only place I could do it without getting in trouble, naturally, I was a little disappointed. My only consolation was that I got to kick Zach's butt in the competition rounds.

Sixteen minutes later I was fitted with ear defenders, a rifle that I had already zeroed to myself, and a magazine of thirty rounds. The firing range at the Gallagher Academy was not meant to be there if we were sticking to our cover story and thus, it was situated at the very back of our grounds, way beyond the P&E barn. This meant that the ten minute trek usually offered some peace and quiet for my restless mind. Or rather, it used to, in a time I like to call B.Z., Before Zachary.

As usual, I had raced off ahead of the others to be the first onto the range. I heard the footsteps and the heavy breathing long before Zach came up beside me. He had had to run up the slight hill to catch up with me and was now panting in a stupidly dog-like manner.

'Hey Cammie, why do you always go off on your own?' he enquired.

'The answer was in the question Zach,' I answered coolly. 'To be alone.'

The blow had landed, and his face fell a little. It was like a punch in the stomach every time his expression changed that way. Nevertheless, the small thrill I got knowing that I was still way ahead in this game of his grew as we reached the firing range.

'Ready for me to kick your sorry arse into submission?' I chuckled as we chose our lanes, and I couldn't help but notice how we ended up side by side.

'You do realise that I've been trained to do this since I was 12 Cammie,' He replied stoically, already eyeing the targets.

'Oh yes. But I don't think you realise that I was killing birds in my back garden at the age of 4 with my dad's pistol' I whispered, noticing that the rest of the class had all drawn lanes and were spread in a formidable line, silently watching their targets.

'Bring it,' were the last two words I heard before a series of noises molested my ears. Crap, I thought, hurriedly checking my safety catch to make it look like I had only just finished my 'load', in time with the others. Unfortunately, I had missed the first commands. Luckily, I always did it early.

Snapping myself out of my own head I vaguely heard the rest of the shouts that meant we were good to fire. Hoisting the rifle into my shoulder, I squinted through the sights and took two deep breaths to slow my pulse and allow my muscles to lock in position. I breathed 2/3 of the way out and gently pulled the trigger back towards me. The bullet flew from the gun and I adjusted my head an inch to see where it had hit the target. Dead centre, as I expected.

Lowering my head again, I relied on muscle memory to allow me to adopt the exact same prone position as before. Satisfied, I puled the trigger 29 times in quick succession, knowing each time the rounds were hitting the bulls eye properly. I completed the 'make safe' procedure with a fluidity that comes only with practice, and eyed the range overseer. She nodded, and I placed my rifle on the floor, dust cap side up and jogged off to collect my scores.

Studying the newly printed points card, I grinned. A perfect 55. 30 for bullets on target, 20 for grouping, and 5 for applying the marksmanship principles. Minutes later, I felt a body brush up against mine and turned to see Zach reaching past me to collect his card.

'Ah, just as I thought,' he sighed, glancing down at his sheet.

'What did you get Zachy boy? I would assume around 49, 50..,' I mused, before stopping short in total, utter shock. The card read 55, clear as day. A perfect score. And, he was the second one back. Not possible. For some reason, rage bubbled inside me. Why had he come back here? He made me feel so insignificant, especially since I knew now I had feelings for him. It was frightening how good he was at this, keeping me on my toes whilst toying with my heart.

Well, if he wanted to find out that I could manipulate him right back, he would have o find out the hard way.

Four minutes had passed since I saw his cad, and now he moved to stand behind me, his arms around my waist and chin resting on my shoulder. I could feel his breath on my cheek, making my skin tingle. I turned my face away, closing me eyes, and savoured the moment. All too soon I knew that I had to stop it. He couldn't win.

'Penny for your thoughts?' he whispered, nudging my cheek with his nose.

'Go away Zach, I can't deal with you right now.'

A hollow feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I watched his stunned expression. Turning on my heel I fled away from the range, and back to the relative safety of my COW class, where I knew he wasn't sitting in. Pushing it away, I convinced myself that I had just climbed up the ladder on the board, and was safely in the lead.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't shake the hollowness in the pit of my stomach for the rest of that week. Zach avoided me as best he could, no doubt planning his next attack. Friday afternoon came and went, and I knew that tomorrow I had to face the weekend, with no distractions.

I went to bed that night feeling rough, rougher than I had in a long time, and I knew I wasn't ill. It was guilt tearing me apart that night. While I was lying awake my mind drifted to the other resident Blackthornes and it occurred to me that I didn't have a clue where they were sleeping. The East Wing was still open, so they couldn't have been around there. I was just rolling over to attempt to sleep, and that was when I heard the voices.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three - **

The best thing about having spies as best friends is that whenever something is wrong, you don't need to tell them, they know exactly how to act. Within 2 minutes and 37 seconds of my hearing the first voice, Bex, Liz, Macey and I were standing on the roof, the night wind ripping through our hair. The maintenance department had blocked off all of my passages after everything with Josh got found out, but there was one that everybody had missed. Even me, until about a month earlier.

Because the Gallagher Academy had to pose as an antique mansion, it had to look like one, and so it needed chimneys. We didn't need any fires to keep us warm in winter, Dr. Fibs and central heating were way too advanced for that, so this left the chimney places nice and un-sooty, ready for use as an easy (ish) way up onto the roof of our dorm. Generally, the roof is a no go zone for all students at the Gallagher Academy. Rumours started by my mother and fuelled by Tina about automated stun guns and trip wires made it one place most of the Girls could live without seeing, until today.

A quick listen earlier had made it clear that our mysterious floating voices were coming from above us, but how? Our dorms were the highest point in the block, with some space on top for an attic, or what we had thought was an attic. A quick rappel up the chimney shaft had left us with no doubt: Gilly Gallagher was a cheeky little minx. The space above us was huge, but massively wider than it was high, it was wider even than the dorm walls, and I reckon I could stand up with just a little extra head space, so it was about 1.9 metres. Because of its outward facing position, no one ever noticed that the right side of the 'attic' overhung the rest of the dormitory building, therefore concealing it very cleverly from some of the most brilliant minds in the business. Even Liz was stumped. It was so simple yet virtually invisible.

The main chimney shaft was actually peppered with small holes that could be used as hand and foot holds, so obviously Gilly had had this made for a reason. Macey started making up inappropriate stories about Gilly visiting her hidden 'lovers' by way of the chimney, but when Liz started going green at the gills Bex hushed her. The situation was almost perfect, if we used ascension cables and dangled in the middle of the chimney shaft, the gappy foot holds became perfect peek holes into the space above. Or, if you think like a spy, the perfect place to put miniature cameras and comms equipment.

It had been too dark to see what was actually in the room when we went up, but the voices, now audible (they were male voices) were definitely coming from inside. Bex had gone up first and plugged the cameras on with gum (we forgot the solid adhesive..) and Liz followed to install the comms and make sure everything was working properly. Because we were working in a narrow tube, we could only get up one at a time, so after they set up, Bex and Liz had whizzed up and out of the shaft and waited for me and Macey on the roof. 20 feet of chimney later, Macey and I had joined Bex and Liz and were relaxing after our show of expert reconnaissance skills.

A sudden crackling came over the comms as Liz flicked it to life, and we began to hear a conversation taking place in Swahili. Gilly's hiding place had clearly become the Blackthorne Boys', because it was definitely their voices floating through the speakers. As the time was about 2:30am, I'm assuming that Zach and Grant thought their conversation was safe, because they were discussing something that a spy should never, ever, on pain of death, talk about. Feelings. The whisper of my name made us all sit up a little straighter and strain our ears to pick out what was going on. Grant had asked 'But what about Cammie?'

'Yes, what about Cammie?' I murmured. Then Zach started speaking :

'I don't know man, she's beautiful, and she's special to me, but I don't think she feels the same way,' he crooned.

'But you don't know that,' encouraged Grant.

'I think I do Grant, she was so cold earlier, its killing me.' he replied softly, 'I don't know what to do.'

I glanced at Liz, 'Are you sure the comms aren't picking up a different frequency Lizzy? Because that isn't my Zach talking.'

'Cammie, how many other people do you know called Cammie, and Zach who have a friend called Grant, and are staying here? Its the right one, I'm sure.' Liz scolded, although I could see the disbelief etched across her face.

And that's when I knew that somehow, Zach and Grant had found the comms equipment, because slowly, a voice came crooning through the speakers, saying 'Goodnight Gallagher Girl.' The static that followed was deafening in our silence. For the first time since I met her, even Bex was speechless.

'Oh they're good,' she muttered.

'But we're better,' said Macey, after turning on the camera feed, which was now dimly showing the inside of the boy's dormitory.

'Yes Bex, they didn't find it!' I yelled.

That's because I half buried it in gum and no one in their right mind would touch someone else's used gum,' she grinned maliciously, 'Girls, we're still in!'

Zach was good, but I was better, I could beat him at his own game, and I knew that I would.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four -**

It was past 11am when I got up the morning after our little night time chimney adventure. My head was pounding as I sat up and looked for my friends, only to discover that they weren't there. I thought things had been a little too quiet. I did wonder where they had gone seeing as they'd been out just as late as me, and I would've presumed that at least Bex would still be asleep. The truth was, I knew I'd probably only got to sleep at about 6am, simply because Zach's words had been drifting through my head, forcing my eyes to stay open.

I still don't know why he said the things he did. Maybe he had known about our comms equipment from the start and was just trying to play me, but I don't see how he could have. I mean, we were Gallagher Girls, the best of the best, and by a long shot. Blackthorne trained their kids well, but to become assassins, not spies. And that was a fundamental difference, especially when it came to noticing stuff. No, I had come to a hazy conclusion that morning before drifting gently into a troubled sleep. Zach had meant what he said, and was now trying to turn it around and pretend he didn't like me as much as he said.

It was infuriating. Obviously, Zach meant a lot to me, and don't ask me why, because I couldn't tell you, but I wasn't going to be the first to admit it. I knew I had the power to make him feel small, and that made me feel so good that I leapt out of bed and jogged down to breakfast wearing my pyjamas. Going to breakfast in PJ's wasn't unusual. After all, we did occasionally have lazy mornings, despite being able to kill you in four minutes with masking tape and a jalapeño pepper. Unfortunately, rules of breakfast table decorum changed considerably when there were boys involved, and no one had thought to tell me.

So, you can picture the scene. I bounded into the breakfast hall – late, I might add – and froze. The room full of lip gloss wearing, perfect haired girls, and rugged looking guys had turned around to see me in my oversize t-shirt and pyjama shorts. If I hadn't been so happy I would probably have died, but I just found Macey, Liz and Bex, strolled over and said..

'Did the chef do any waffles? I'm half starved!'

Needless to say, I got a couple of open mouthed stares from the likes of Tina Walters and Courtney Bauer. I was just about to tuck into my little piece of waffley heaven, when Tina started flicking her hair in a way that we do not get taught in C&A. That told everyone who was facing away from the central isle that we had company, and they must have been good looking, because Tina doesn't flick for just anyone.

My heart constricted in my chest as a hand came to rest, gentle as a feather on my shoulder. the hand pulled me around, and I knew who it was immediately. Only one Blackthorne guy knew me, or rather thought he did, well enough to be that forward, and that was Zachary.

'Hey Cammie' he said, looking down on me with a crinkled smile of amusement. 'Did you girls have fun last night?'

'It was brilliant Zach, really. And the part where you confessed your undying love for me.. Classic.' I said, clapping. I was sure that his blasé attitude was just part of the game. He was trying to make me say how I felt first, I knew it, and I was not going to give in any time soon.

'I WHAT?' Zach replied, his face becoming stony. 'What did you hear Gallagher Girl?'

'Only that you _love me and don't know what to do about it_,' I answered in a high girly voice. 'God Zach, you think you'd do something a bit manlier that have a gossip fest with Grant at 3 in the morning.. It's pathetic.' I grinned mischievously, but Zach still wore his hardened face, and something unfamiliar danced through his eyes. It resembled anger, and pain, but I assumed I was reading him wrong because this was Zach, and he always knew when I was joking. I couldn't have actually hurt him... could I?

I had no need to worry however, because at that moment his face lit up, and he began to chuckle.

'That was for your benefit baby,' he smirked. 'Next time, try and use a Comms Unit that isn't two way. It helps if the person you're trying to listen to can't hear you too.'

'That's how he knew it was there,' gasped Liz, and I knew that she had been trying to work out how they had known about us all night. She really wasn't one to let things go that she didn't understand. 'Dammit, that means Dr. Fibs has the wrong set!' And with that, Liz flew from the table, nearly banging into Jonas and clutching a banana as if it were a sub-automatic pistol.

I turned around to continue my 'battle' with Zach, but he was gone. I craned my neck around Bex's head and saw him stalking out of the door, barely concealed rage visible in the set of his shoulders.

'Jesus, someone's got PMS this morning' I joked to Macey, but she just looked at me sadly.

'He really likes you Cammie, just think about that'

'No he doesn't Macey. To him, I'm just a game he can play until he gets bored and moves on,' I replied, but Macey shook her head in earnest, and left me sitting stunned, and alone.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five -**

The great hall had started to feel like it was pressing in on me after Macey left. Somewhere in between Liz and Macey, Bex had deserted me too. I didn't know which had left me hurting the most, that I might have annoyed Bex so much that she could leave without saying anything, or that I had hurt Zach past his limit. How had the dynamic changed so much in fifteen minutes? I had thought he playing a game, a game that I was winning. But now, I just didn't know. In the end it was too much for me to bear. I bounded from the room, barely pausing to say 'excuse-moi' to the sous-chef I had just knocked over.

My eyes clouded over as I left the building and for the first time in 4 years, I was crying. Tears flooded down my face and sobs threatened to consume me, but I ran and ran, until the rawness of the pain had subsided, and I was left with a dull ache somewhere deep down. I noticed with a vague interest that I was barefoot, running across the damp earth that still sparkled with morning dew.

I had no idea where I was going until, startled, I looked up and saw my tree looming before me. Even from a distance, I could see that there was someone hunched beneath it. I couldn't see much, just an outline of a head and shoulders. As I drew nearer, I slowed in apprehension.

The face that stared blankly out at me had piercing green eyes, rimmed by dark, thick eyelashes. A straight nose and chiselled, models cheekbones gave way to rose coloured lips, that parted slightly as I came to a stop, about 3 metres away. Zach turned his face away, throwing it into stark contrast and emphasizing his angular jaw line. I finally allowed myself to admit, it was a beautiful face.

I took another step forward and Zach stood up, wiping the dirt off his trousers with one hand, and grimacing.

'Well,' I said, 'aren't you going to yell at me or something?'

'No Cammie, I couldn't yell at you.'

'But I've hurt you so much.. I thought you were playing with me'

'No' was all the answer I got before I gasped. Zach's right hand was grazed and bleeding from the knuckles.

'What happened?' I asked, stumbling to reach him.

'I hit the tree,' he muttered. 'It's you Cammie. You're twisting my head around. Whenever I see you I can barely walk straight, let alone act normal. And then I get so angry with myself for being too cowardly to tell you straight how I feel. Then comes the anger with you, for being such a bitch..' He tailed off and looked away with anguish in his eyes.

'Zach..' I started but he interrupted me.

'Don't say my name like that Cammie. Not if you aren't going to say what I want to hear'

I reached for his battered hand and cradled it in both of mine as I started speaking.

'Listen to me for a minute, and please don't interrupt, otherwise I won't get this out. For the past month I have been dong what I have because I thought you wanted me to fall for you , just to push me away. So I convinced myself that I could beat you and trick myself into believing that I feel the same way about you as I do any other friend.'

'Cam..'

'Don't interrupt. And then earlier, seeing your face fall like that. It felt like someone had hit me in the gut with a truncheon. I can't bear to see you hurting Zach. It hurts me too. What I think I'm trying to say Zach, is that I like you. A lot. In fact, ever since you first got here, I've been pretty much in...'

'Shhhh,' Zach said as he placed a finger under my chin and pulled my head up to face him. 'Cameron Morgan. I am in love with you. Always have been. Always will be. As long as I live.'

'Zach,' I whispered, dropping his hand and staring at him. My eyes flickered to his and I saw relief etched into them.

'What?' he said, worry tainting his expression so fast that I almost laughed.

'I love you too.' I breathed, lowering my eyes. For the second time, he tilted my head towards his, the worry replaced with pure and unadulterated joy.

In a second he closed the remaining metre or so between us and puled me tight into him. His body moulded into mine and his head rested once more on my shoulder. Turning slightly, his lips brushed the edge of my neck, and a shiver went through me. My hands floated uneasily at my sides until he grasped them and drew them around his neck.

I pulled him closer then, bringing our mouths together. The kiss began softly, like embers glowing in a fire. His hands drifted to the small of my back, where he seemed to crush me against him. And then all my walls fell down.

I gasped, surprised, and he locked my mouth against his more urgently. His tongue brushed my lower lip and I shivered, just as a low moan escaped the back of his throat. All at once, I jumped up, swinging my legs around his toned waist and giggling.

'Who knew, the infamous Cammie Morgan could giggle,' gasped Zach, coming up for air.

He spun around and backed up against the tree, pushing me into it and him even closer to me. His hands brushed my arms as I closed my eyes and lowered my hands to the hem of his t-shirt. In a smooth motion, I ripped it up over his head and stopped in wonder. Zach slid to the floor with me still attached, legs around his waist. He moved in for another kiss but I stopped him with a finger.

'Wait,' I said, gazing up at him.

'Ok,' he groaned, desire evident in the sparkle of his eyes.

Carefully, I began to trace the contours of his torso. His golden skin rippled over hard, lean muscles, and as my fingers began to trace the lines of his abs, he moaned again and kissed me with such force that I melted. I could no longer support myself against him, and I fell down, his weight pressing on top of me as we lay in the grass.

With shaky hands, he reached for the bottom of my t-shirt and paused. I opened my eyes and nodded, to show him that it was okay to go on. I shrugged off the top and watched with amusement as his eyes took in my chest, waist and hips. Zach's face was incredulous as he took in the black lace. He turned to look at me with eyes that twinkled with desire and happiness.

He was more beautiful to me in that moment than he ever had been, his face lit up like a child's, all traces of past resentment gone.


End file.
